


Panic

by agentsoffitzsimmons



Series: Panic [1]
Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, but these two are adorable so hush, friends - Freeform, it is a budding relationship, like the show friends, they aren't really in a relationship yet, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:30:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4780640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsoffitzsimmons/pseuds/agentsoffitzsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint couldn't sleep so he decided to go down for a drink but ends up getting distracted by someone who, by the looks of it, is having a panic attack. Having gone through plenty himself, Clint tries to help.</p><p>It doesn't help when the person having the attack is Bucky Barnes and Clint hadn't really spoken to Bucky before that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panic

The archer couldn’t sleep. Nightmares kept him up yet again. He found himself having the same nightmare over and over again. His world was tainted Tesseract blue and Loki was before him, telling him to kill the Avengers. He had his bow, an arrow nocked on the string, aimed towards his team. His mind begged him not to do it, but he had no control over his actions. He would always wake up before he released the arrow.

He was walking around the Avenger’s Tower, headed down from his level to the lounge to get something to drink. He needed something strong. Who cares if it was two in the morning? He knew Stark’s bar would be full. 

As he exited the elevator, he heard a gasp. It sounded like someone had just been scared. Did he scare someone? Who the hell would be awake at this time? He strayed from his trail to the kitchen to try and find where this gasp had come from. 

Going a little further down the hallway, he eventually spotted a shadow leaning up against the wall. Whoever it was was shaking and letting out strangled breaths. Clint knew what was happening. He went through this daily. The other was having a panic attack.

Every one of the Avengers had their issues. Stark had been trapped by the Ten Rings, Cap had been frozen for 70 years, Natasha had been raised by the Red Room, Banner had the Hulk to deal with, Sam had seen warfare as had Clint, and Bucky… well Bucky had quite a few things going for him.

As the agent walked towards the mass, he slowly came to the conclusion that it was Bucky who was huddled up in the corner. 

Bucky couldn’t breathe.

He could remember everything that he ever did.

Every person he ever killed.

James put his head in his hands, pulling at his hair.

It hurt to remember. He wanted the images to go away. He wanted the people to stop screaming in his head. He wanted to sleep.

The archer knew better than to go right up to the soldier. That was a death wish. Instead, Clint walked around in front of James, making sure that he knew he was here instead of sneaking up on him. Once James had spotted him, he bent down in front of the soldier.

They hadn’t spoken much, but Clint knew what he was going through. He always wished he had someone there to talk him out of his panic attacks, but he normally had to deal with them by himself. Being here for Bucky was something that he did out of instinct.

Clint held out a hand, wanting James to grab it. They might not be as close as Steve and Bucky were but whenever he got like this, he needed and craved touch. Natasha knew that. He would always go to her and just hold her until he felt better. 

James attempted to reach out and grab the other’s hand but he instinctively reached out with his left arm. Once he saw the silver glint from the moon seeping in from the window, he automatically pulled his arm back towards him. He did notice however that Clint hadn’t flinched away when he saw his hand. 

That damn arm. That was the cause of most of his problems. It just brought back so many memories; so many memories of the war, of Hydra, of the Red Room. He was so done with it. He just wanted to remove it and keep it off. He knew better. He wasn’t a great assassin with perfect aim without it. He needed that arm to help the Avengers but it brought him back to the horrible times in his life.

Clint let out a sigh and reached over slowly, as to not scare Bucky away, and grabbed the metal arm carefully. He treated it so gently that Bucky couldn’t help but look up at the other man. He was acting as if it might break if he so much as touched it too hard. The shaking continued as he slowly pulled the arm closer to him. Clint reached down and grabbed his hand, holding the metal hand close. 

They stayed in that position for quite awhile until Bucky could only focus on the man in front of him. Not the memories that were slowly fading in his head. So many questions ran through his mind about the archer. Why was he helping? How did he know how to help? How had he not run away at the sight of his hand…?

Once the shudders and tears had both subsided, Clint patted his hand gently. “You okay now?” He asked quietly. Bucky just nodded, using his human hand to wipe away the tears. The archer smiled. “Good. Why don’t you come get a drink with me?” Bucky nodded again. Clint used the hand he was still holding onto to pull the other man up. Even when they were both standing and walking towards the kitchen, he still didn’t let go. It was that constant touch that normally helped Clint get through these things.

James sat down on one side of the bar while Clint made his way around so that he could start making drinks for them both. That’s when the soldier finally spoke up. He didn’t say much, only one word.

“Why?” 

It came out hoarse and it nearly made him start crying again. He sounded so pitiful and weak. James hated it. Clint, on the other hand, didn’t even look up from mixing the drinks. “’Cause… I would want someone there for me if I got like that. You should really go to someone when you get like that, James. I bet Steve would help you through them.” The man only shook his head. “No, I don’t want to bother Steve with them. They happen too much for that.” Clint let out a sigh. 

“Well, you are always free to come to me. I can help you...” He let out a soft chuckle. “I get panic attacks too much for my own good. I know what you are going through.” James shook his head again. No, Clint didn’t know what he was going through. James had been brainwashed, he had no control of his actions, killed too many people, mostly innocents and had no regret doing so. 

Of course Clint wouldn’t know what that was like.

When James turned his attention back to the man behind the bar, he had a scowl on his face. “What?” Clint took a deep breath, shaking his head slightly before returning to the drinks in front of him.

He did know what he was going through. Loki brainwashed him, made him kill too many people, and Clint had no control of his actions. He wasn’t about to bring it up though. Bringing it up would make him relive the moment and then Bucky would have to deal with him having a panic attack of his own. That wouldn’t help anyone.

James let it go, reaching over to grab his finished drink from the archer’s hand. “Thanks…” He muttered before taking a sip. Once the alcohol left its burning trail down his throat, he felt a little better. A little more in control of his actions. 

“Hey, why were you even awake?” He asked softly, looking over towards Clint who was still behind the bar. The archer took another deep breath before speaking. “Couldn’t sleep. Nightmares and all.” James raised an eyebrow. “Nightmares? Oh… Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude in your privacy.” 

That made Clint laugh. “You weren’t invading. You were asking a question, Buck. You didn’t know.” He shrugged and took a long sip of his drink. 

They drank in silence until Clint finally finished his beverage. “Hey, I’m going to try to go get some more sleep. You good?” He asked as he put away his glass. Bucky nodded. He was okay for now. Didn’t mean he was going to be good until morning… 

“Look, if you need me, come to my floor. Alright?” Bucky nodded, watching as Clint walked over to the elevator. Once the door closed, he released a big breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He barely knew the man and yet he was helping him through panic attacks? Normally James would face those on his own and it would take hours to get through them. Clint had managed to distract him and a panic attack that would normally last nearly 5 hours lasted for about 25 minutes. 

But why had he helped? Surely he could have just kept walking and gotten his drink before heading back to bed. Why did he stop and help him through it? He said he got panic attacks of his own but why had he helped Bucky of all people? 

Coming to the conclusion that it was just a onetime occurrence, Bucky set his glass down and walked over to the elevator to go back to his own room. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore that night so he might as well catch up on some movies and TV shows he apparently missed.

Once he got to his room, he settled down on the couch, draping a blanket over his legs. He had thrown on a sweatshirt so that he wouldn’t have to look at his arm. That damn thing…

“Hey, Jarvis?” He asked, glancing up at his ceiling. Without hesitation, a voice answered. “Yes, Agent Barnes?” He was still getting used to that. “Hey, um… if Clint wakes up from another nightmare, can you tell him that he is welcome to join me down here to watch a movie or something?” The AI answered immediately. “Yes, sir. I will let him know. Shall I tell him now? He hasn’t gone to bed but rather chose to practice his shooting.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. Shooting? What the hell? How come he couldn’t hear the gun go off? “Shooting?” 

“Yes, Agent Barnes. Agent Barton likes to shoot arrows at different objects in his room.” That would explain why he couldn’t hear it. A bow and arrow, huh? He knew about the Avengers, sure, but not about them individually, besides Steve of course. He knew some about Natalia- Natasha. Clint, he knew next to nothing about besides for the fact that he was on the team and his name was Clint.

“Yeah, go ahead and let him know. Thanks, Jarvis.”

“Of course, sir.”

After a few minutes of confusion with the remote, he had managed to put on an old TV show. Bucky thought Jarvis might have helped him with it a little. He hadn’t remembered clicking on a button that said Netflix, it just showed up. He also didn’t remember typing in ‘Friends’, but there it was. Had the alcohol really affected him that badly already? Damn.  
Once the theme song had played, James heard the elevator opening. He immediately sat up and saw Clint staring at the elevator door. He was also dressed in a sweatshirt but it was a bit baggier, nearly swallowing the man whole. Clint was also in a pair of sweatpants. All together, he looked a mess. It clearly showed that he hadn’t been sleeping well and that he didn’t really put much effort into his appearance.

“Hey… Um, Jarvis just told me to come down here. Said you requested my presence or whatever.”

He was glad it was dark in his room. A blush appeared on James’ cheeks as Clint spoke. The damn AI. 

“No, I had just told him that… if you woke up from another nightmare that he could tell you that you could come down here and watch a movie with me. He said you were going around and shooting things so he was going to tell you anyways. I’m sorry. You can go back to shooting things.”

Bucky sounded so defeated and it killed Clint. It was as if he was asking for Clint to stay but pushing him away at the same time. 

“Not like I’m going to do anything better. Scoot over, Barnes. Friends is my shit.” The corner of Bucky’s mouth briefly twitched upwards, making a small smile for a second before disappearing. Clint considered it an accomplishment. 

James did as he was told, moving over a little. He put his legs out in front of him so that his feet were up against the coffee table. Clint sat down next to him, curling up so his feet were under his leg. He leaned against the arm rest, trying to hide his yawn. “What episode is this?” James frowned. He had no idea what Clint was talking about but he went along with it. 

“I think it is the first… I actually think that Jarvis had something to do with this. I don’t remember looking this up.” Clint actually laughed. “Well, Jarvis has taste, I will admit. Friends is my favorite show ever. You are in for a treat.”

That is how they stayed the rest of the night and into the early morning hours, the sun slowly rising above the buildings. Clint had actually fallen asleep while watching the show. Bucky had tried but he couldn’t get the images out of his head. 

After a bit, he lost interest in the show and had turned to watch Clint sleeping. He noticed that his feet had slid out from underneath his legs at some point and had ended up pressed against James’ thigh. He hadn’t even noticed.

Some master spy he was.

Maybe some sleep would help him. With a yawn, Bucky curled up on his edge of the couch, Clint’s feet pressing harder against his thigh. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, the pressure from the other keeping him slightly grounded.

It was the best couple hours of sleep that he had ever gotten since Hydra.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I might try and add more to this verse and hopefully get them to be in a relationship at some point? Leave your thoughts in the comments! Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
